Almost There

I spent a fair share of the night re-re-re-reading my final proof of Let the Dark Speak, and I am so happy to say that barring any unforseen complications, the Paperback Version should go live on Amazon tonight!

Thank you all so much for following along with me, and having so much patience during the publishing process. I could not have done this without the support I’ve received from so many of you.

Be sure to follow me on instagram for more news and posts! đź–¤

Exciting News

The Kindle version of my book is now live on Amazon!

Check it out HERE!

If you’re more of a physical book kind of reader (like me,) you’ll still have to wait a bit for the final proof to be approved.

Here’s a little taste of what you’ll find in the book. đź–¤

Make sure you check out my instagram.

Understand

I want to float in a vast ocean
in the blackest dark of night,
with only the stars winking
as they watch me wading.

On the edge of sanity and panic
surrounded by sounds I don’t understand,
while swells of hope roll me
between lulls of grey anguish,
I want thunder to shake all around me
as I struggle to keep my eyes dry.

And I want to know
that the shore will never come.
For once, that type of certainty
doesn’t sound so bad.

I’ve posted a picture version below for easy sharing if you feel inclined to do so. đź–¤

As always, thank you all for your kindness and support.

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For more posts, great pictures, and updates about future publishing.

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And of course, a loving word for those who need it today:

There are never places light can’t reach. Those of us who dwell in the dark must either thrive there, or strive towards the brightness that emanates from hope. Every hour you survive is proof you have immeasurable strength. Don’t ever give up. You are worth more to this world than your thoughts tell you. I will always be here to listen if you need it.

Solitary

A smile lands on your face for a solitary moment;

it disappears into the quiet surrounding you without a sound.

You strain to remember things that used to make you happy,

but the the tide of lament is already washing over you.

You look to the sky, but all you see are clouds drifting carelessly by,

and nothing but gray eternity stares back at you.

You wonder how no one else sees the despair lingering in the air,

raining down with drops that there is no cover from.

A perfect breeze catches your attention and you close your eyes gently,

and you allow your whole body to feel its caress.

A smile lands on your face for a solitary moment;

the tears in your eyes tell you it will have to do for now.

I’ll be adding this to my Poetry Collection Whispers in the Dark later on today. Thank you so much for reading and following my work.

Thank you for reading.

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Poetry Collection | Whispers in the Dark

My previous nine posts have been a collection of poetry and prose focused on mental health called Whispers In The Dark. The feedback and outpouring of support from the community here have been nothing short of inspiring. Depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and addiction are all incredibly tough foes that many of us face on a daily basis. Suffering doesn’t have to be something we go through alone, and it certainly doesn’t have to happen in silence.

I use my writing as an outlet for dealing with the loss I’ve had in my life, and how it’s affected every facet of living. Putting words to some of the darkest feelings I’ve ever had helps me to cope, and allows me to face those issues head on. I spent the last two days searching for photos that I thought would visually accompany this collection best; I believe I’ve found those pictures. Feel free to use anything I post below in any way you want. All I ask for is that you credit me in one form or another.

Before I post them, I would like to share just one more thought.

Sometimes, a shoulder to lean on, or a ear to listen from a friend is enough. If we all take a moment out of our day to just ask someone how they are, and actually listen- well, sometimes that’s all it takes to give someone what they need to face the day. For the days when it isn’t, there are so many avenues to turn to for help.

If you or anyone you know is having a hard time, and is considering harming themselves please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. There is always an answer. There is always a choice.

 

If you love my work, please like, comment, share, and reblog!
And if you ever need an ear to listen, I will always do so.
Thank you for following my blog, and continuing on this journey with me.
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Collapse

Today you will carry a burden heavier than your hands can hold;

it will not relent or diminish through the hours.

Your mind will scream obscenities that offer freedom for giving up,

and your burning muscles will beg that you do so for fear of collapse.

Pity will be your shadow today;

anger will be the carrot that dangles before you on a string.

Do not yield to either.

You will breathe.

You will persevere.

You will survive.

 

 

If you like my work, feel free to use the image below for an easy share!
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burden waves

 

Collapse is one of nine poems that make up my Whispers in the Dark Collection, a collection focused on mental health. You can view the rest of the collection here.

Lightpost

The First Walk

 

Outside my front door, at the end of my driveway, and 30 feet across the street stands a light post. It’s about 12 feet tall, black, slightly rusty, and it leans a little bit to the right. From time to time, there is a cobweb that is strewn about a few faces of the lamp face. There are seven other light posts up and down the street, but the one across the street from my house is my favorite. And not just for convenience, it has character too.

I take my two dogs to this spot just beside it every day on a walk. One time- a late night walk after work- I was feeling particularly down. A lot of awful, heartbreaking thoughts seemed to dance around my mind, and I was at my lowest. I had been missing you so deeply then, and every heartbeat of mine pumped a darker picture of loss before my eyes, It was in that moment that my light post flickered and then went completely out while I was standing right below it. It hummed at me gently, and I stared at it curiously.

The abrupt darkness distracted me long enough to get a hold of my thoughts, and I felt a calm thankfulness for the light post. As I stared, the humming grew a bit stronger, and then, just as suddenly as it had gone out, it began emitting light once again. The outward hum was no longer audible, but there was a vibration that I could feel in the air- and I swear, that vibration tied me to that light post. I had this confusing desire to stay close to it. So I did for a few minutes longer.

I talked to my dogs while I was there in those moments, close to the light post, but they seemed disinterested in anything I had to offer. My mood had already become much lighter in the few moments that passed in the shadow of the light post, and I began to playfully insinuate to my pets that their favorite Aunt would be coming to visit soon. The light post responded at the end of my statement by flickering a few times and then going out completely. Perhaps the timing was coincidental, perhaps it was not. That’s not for me to suppose just yet, but it did seem that the light did respond directly to my statements.

It then started to rain, so I had to go back inside with my dogs. Still, the peculiar malfunctioning  and the timing of the light post held a strange excitement in my mind. My next walk would be coming up shortly, and I would be ready to see what this light was all about. For now, I could sit on my couch and watch the light post through the windows that faced across the road.

Multi-You-Niverse

image

This made my day. A tribute to the multiverse theory. If you’re unfamiliar with the idea, allow me to give you a brief summarization. There are an infinite number of parallel universes, in which some you exist, and some you do not (in some universes you were never born.) In the instances that you do exist, each decision you make branches off into another possible existence of you life, or one like it. For example, you were born here and now, and in this universe and a parallel one your parents were taking you home from the hospital. You come to an intersection where the light turns yellow, and in universe one, you father stops at the light, but in the other, he speeds through. Those small differences cause a skew between our two universes that can have drastically different outcomes. Say running that yellow light in Universe Two causes an accident and your dad gets taken to jail for running a red light. The people in the other car don’t survive, and your father goes to prison for vehicular manslaughter. You grow up wothout a father. Suddenly, universe one and universe two are quite different.
Now, imagine this on an infinite scale, where every decision ever made creates another universe of possiblities; every variable leads to a different outcome. This is the multiverse theory.
It’s a cool idea. Somewhere in existence, you could be a doctor, or a President. You could be a chef, or a father of 20 children. The possiblities are neverending. So why not treat it as a competition. Be the best you there is.